Just look at those stars.

Letter to my 16 year old self

2011-05-20T06:03:00.001+08:00

I want to do a "to my 16 year old self" post too! Even though I am technically only 19....

So.. here goes!

To my 16 year old self. You are now at a turning point of your life, having just finished high school, with pretty good results. The choice to make now is whether to study IB, or A'levels. You foolishly picked A'levels, not because of the merits of that path, but because you shallowly thought that the school was nicer and prettier, and because the uniform was cute.

Who would had known that it was such a cliche school so not worth the price? How would you know that you would pick up so many bad habits during that period of time? Don't worry too much about what university course to take, and what subjects you took in A'levels, because it wouldn't matter, as you will soon see. Studying the science stream does not tie you down into doing science courses, and you will find yourself studying an art course, and I will leave you to find out what that is in the future.

My sixteen year old self, you had just got out of a possessive relationship, and is ready to move on after a few months. So you did. When you are seventeen, you will meet a guy, and fall in love quickly with his smart wits and sweet words. How would you have known that he was a cheat and going to break your heart soon after? You were young, and in love, and had no regards to your education at all.

How would you have known that what you chose at that point of time will result in you not being able to do the best you can, and getting less than satisfactory results at the end of that long A'level course? You would learn to know that people are not to be trusted so easily, and this lesson will take you a long time to learn, due to the lack of closure, it will take approximately a year, and even then, memories will remain painful.

If I could go back in time to tell my 16 year old self something, it would be to just move on, and learn what are the priorities in life - education. It's so not worth it to suffer for someone like that. In 2 years' time, you will find yourself in a completely new place - Manchester.

The start of university, in a completely different country far away from the comfort zone you grew up in, where lectures aren't compulsory. Two terms later, you will find myself in my position right now, cramming for examinations and paying for the lost hours of lecture due to pure laziness.

If you had picked up better study habits then, maybe I wouldn't be in this difficult position right now, but how were you supposed to know that what you do then will affect so drastically how I am now? You are only 16, and had your heart broken, but I also wished that you had learn to love yourself more then. Take better care of yourself, and I want you to know that whatever you do to hide the hurt from the broken relationship, you are not at fault.

You will soon grow up to realize that, there are much more important things in life - such as your parents who nurtured you and loved you since young, no matter what mistakes you make. The siblings that are your blood no matter how much you fight with them and argue with them. You will soon realize how much you miss their company. You should have learnt to appreciate them more, instead of being all alone 3 years later in a foreign country missing them.

Dear 16 year old self, you were so skinny! In a few years' time, you will turn into a fat bitch, so please don't laugh at fat people and discriminate against them. You too will have the day when you start growing horizontally too.

Despite the mistakes you will make, I am also proud of you, my sixteen year old self, for learning to pick yourself up from the fall. Do you know that you will soon enjoy swimming, and complete your piano level that you thought you never will? You don't have to worry too much about it, you'll be fine, I guarantee it :)

So, 16 year old self, you have made me become who I am today, and I am happy to have you, no matter what. All I want you to do now is to learn to love more, judge less and smile more :)

EQ = 0

2011-05-14T04:18:00.000+08:00

Just read this article. I am disturbed, not by the man, but more of by myself. While reading through the article, I realised that no amount of sympathy on the woman has been brewed in me.

Instead, in my head, thoughts of whether or not the man had a defence against what he'd done was swimming around. Was he substantially impaired, or does he has an abnormality of mental functioning?

I've been told that I'm realistic, but this is really too much. This is called having zero EQ. What is going on, seriously? I hope that it's the coincidence that I am studying homicide that is making me feel this way. I am not cold blooded, nor do I wish to be, I just wish I could instil some pity or sympathy towards things like this.

On the other end of the spectrum... I get angry over things like brutal killings of animals (slaughterhouses), but not over this one single issue of innocent killing of a HUMAN LIFE. I don't know how to start comprehending my thoughts now. Confused.

2011-02-28T08:08:00.002+08:00

It's so complicated. I wonder how things are gonna work themselves out.. hmmmmm...

Written in the stars

2011-01-15T03:53:00.000+08:00

So there is a new astrological sign, and I am no longer a gemini, and am now a taurus. WTF. So all the personality of a gemini should not be rightfully mine is it?

It may sound damn weird but I kinda believe in horoscopes. It's one of those little enjoyments in life, where you see what might happen today, and leave fate to the hands of someone else ( even though that someone else may just be a robot and everything on the screen could be just a computer generated response. )

I am a sucker for these sort of things. Tarot, palm reading, and the works. I don't even know why I am like that. An escape from the harsh realities of life, most likely.

You're my ice cream

2011-01-13T08:32:00.000+08:00

Mushroom with thyme, chicken kiev stuffed with ham and cheese, and veggie + oyster sauce + fried onions for dinner tonight

with nai cha

Simple pleasures in life during the hectic exam period. FOOD. My last few enjoyments before diet plan + gym season starts. I need to do a whole lot of things before febuary comes round. Like check out a tour group for my parents/grandparents.

I will love it for them to visit, yet hate it at the same time, cause I will have to do and prepare so many things like book apartments and shits, and because I am so damn lazy. Grr.

Abrupt ending to this post because I cannot post pictures and I really don't have anything to say at all.

and it comes back to haunt me;

2011-01-10T00:45:00.000+08:00

It's another one of those gray gloomy days here, where everything is just dreary and makes you want to sleep. Exam season now, right up to Febuary, where chinese new year will kick in, with no red packets, food, and no new clothes for me. :(

A bit depressing really, my train of thought, but then again that's just the way life as a student is and should be. I don't know why, but when I look at myself now, I see a completely different girl than that of what I want to be in my head. It just seems like my control over my habits, emotions, and everything else doesn't exist.

Maybe I lack self-control, or maybe it is something else, that is vital to achieving this harmony that I want in my life. Actually, it is more emotions than anything else. I find myself constantly thinking back to the times we spent, the things that we did, and whatever bond it is that we shared, or at least that of which I felt.

Saddens me to see how much have changed, in such a short span of time. All those promises you made, the future we created. I remember not wanting to have hopes in one, but you insisted, broke down every wall there was, took my heart away and broke it into a million pieces a short while later.

I had a lot of doubts from the very beginning, as does everyone else, but I foolishly chose to trust, and this decision is one that I do not regret, despite the amount of unspeakable grief that it caused me. It taught me a lesson, a big one, and most importantly, it taught me to love, and to know that what you love may not be good for you.

Even now, I can still feel something stirring inside me everytime I look at pictures of you, though I rarely admit it. Every single time. It bothers me how you can move on so quickly and recover so damn easily, when it is still hurting me. Is this supposed to be the way life works? If so, then it just isn't fair.

The last time I had an exam, you were there to ruin it for me, requiring my constant attention and pampering, and now that you're not there to bother me, I don't know why I still can't focus on something so important and necessary to the foundations of a career so much - a degree.

I am so confused right now. The constant insomnia doesn't help at all, and this kind of closure is not what I need, because it is all lies. I don't know what I need or want now, but I do know that if you choose to be, you can still be it.

Hey soul sister.

2011-01-06T06:11:00.000+08:00

Been studying everyday lately to make up for the party times. :( Exams on the 19th till the 24th. 3 insane modules. Spending everyday in the library sucks. Sometimes it gets so frustrating that I just wanna jump out of the window and die.

Like today. Beside our study room was this room filled with malay/indian pharmacist chicks. I've got nothing against the race, but even when we have knocked on their door requesting them to be quiet, they REFUSE, saying they have a right to make noise.

This is a library lah. Take your childish noisy indian slang-ed discussion elsewhere man. SO ANNOYING.

Also bought groceries so I may start cooking at home and save some money! Been spending quite a bit eating out everyday. Have to be good girl and start cooking my own stuff now, but I honestly only cook when I got feel lo.. so it's still instant food everyday.

Searching up pictures from my facebook to post hehehehe. So basically anyone who's my fb friend can skip below photos of food from all over.

korean food - bibimbap + crispy salmon sushi + miso + kimchi

part 1 of many dimsums

supper activities - ice cream and loud music

yummy swarovski dotted moet! :P

home cooked stuff - salmon w herbs + mayo, and ceasar salad

seafood carbonara

breakfast of bagel, beans, eggs and bacon

xmas dinner with turkey, bread and butter, parsnip, potato salad and cranberry sauce

bolognese pasta + rocket

new year eve clubbing in birmingham, moet night!

jump shot for chicks in barcelona

christmas house party/clubbing in manchester

getting ready to go clubbing in spain, at 3am wtf!

before watching fc barcelona game donning on jerseys

this scary looking ride in winterwonderland which I conquered with the girlies below!

cutiepie and babygirl in london waiting for tube

with anne in law lectures wasting our time camwhoring

some random home jagerbomb night! ended up with us not sleeping after that :S

another birmingham trip, taken outside bullring!

k2 night with the cute manchie peoples!

and a k2 night like a month later again with our bosworth guest HEHEHEHHEE

1/1/2011, clubbing night!

End of photo diarrhea cause I have nothing to type out here. Here are some pictures stolen from my tagged photos huahuahuahua. Okay. Am going to eat another carton of yoghurt, get fat, shower, and sleep!

we're gonna party like, like it's the end of the world;

2011-01-03T12:24:00.000+08:00

Some pictures from tagged photos in facebook because I am too lazy to take my own pictures hehe.

tiger tiger day 1 2010

oceana birmingham new year eve

barcelona, spain

my first dom p

my first live football match, fc barcelona

christmas in manchester with my twin

ice skating, which was a horrible experience

oceana, birmingham, a long time ago

Okay. I am too lazy to go on.

another year.

2010-12-30T08:41:00.001+08:00

It's been about a thousand years before I last blogged. Partly because I haven't been online as often as I would like. It used to feel weird not typing out what I do/eat/think into this white space every few days, but I've been quite occupied. Well. Christmas is over. After all the initial hype, hustle and bustle. It is finally over.

Had a pretty fantastic home cooked turkey dinner, complete with lovable people and lots of laughters. Christmas eve was another story altogether. It was a depressing and shit night because everything was closed.

Been reminiscing quite a bit lately, as 2010 is drawing to a close. It was a great year, complete with ups and downs. It was a year of great changes to people, myself, my surrounding, my thoughts, and everything else.

As I am writing this, it is the 30th. Only one more day left in this eventful year, and then it will be another fresh new year. Hopefully, the next year will get better.

Time to list out things I've done in 2010!! A pretty short list, but that's all I can think of right now.

Completed A levels and is successfully in uni right now. It's so weird being away from home, not spending christmas with my family, but instead with new friends in a new place, creating new memories.

Learnt to cook, do laundry, and clean up the house. Lots of picture proofs, but am too lazy to dig it up and post it up here. After 18 years, I can finally say that I'm sort of good at cleaning up right now. My hands are pretty rough and horrible and in desperate need of some love right now, but this is the price of independence. :(

Finally got to drive around properly after a year of holding onto my license and not using because I am officially 18! YAY! Driving is.. fun when you have the mood to. Otherwise, I still really enjoy sitting in other people's car and do nothing instead of focusing on the road.

Experienced snow properly, as in LIVE here instead of going on vacation and all the problems associated with it. I have never been happier with the sun than when it is cold, rainy and snowing.

Spent a huge amount of money in such a short period of time. The amount of liberation shopping gives me is indescribable.. and retail therapy is really harmful to the wallet. This one I will have to cut down in the upcoming year.

Stayed in a library for super long. I know it's so weird to stay this, but I actually enjoy the stays at the library cause the study room has a plasma and everything. Pretty damn awesome. I am such a nerd.

Fell in and out of love, and learnt many many things from the experience. As much as it hurts, I'm glad that it happened, and I will take it as a lesson.

Watched my first football match, live, in barcelona. Even bought the jersey and everything. Such a loser :P It was a disappointing match, 0 - 0, and everyone was speaking in spanish. :(

Lost some friends, made some new ones, reconnected with others, and lost contact with a few. Everyone is unique and I appreciate all the memories and footprints, whether good or bad, that they left in my journey thus far. Been quite sentimental lately and checked back quite a bit of pictures from the good old high school times. AH. The drastic change of my appearance!

Here's to a better year next year of 2011. I am ready to take it on, and no matter what challenges the new year ahead hurls at me, I want to be ready to take it on and tackle it down.

Snow

2010-12-02T07:29:00.000+08:00

It's been snowing quite a bit in the past two days. :'( I hate snow so much. Everything gets wet and cold and all I wanna do is just curl up in bed with a good song on.

Sleep would be welcome too. It's been a hectic week. So much to do, so little time!

Because my blog is dead;

2010-11-30T00:09:00.000+08:00

pre clubbing pictures from all around

roaming the christmas market drinking our hot chocolate baileys and eating chocolate covered fruits, before heading out for italian dinner, and requesting for their balloons. /not shy

ditching harry potter to sing k

random cook out session

me chopping up potatoes and making soy chicken + potatoes

about a thousand more pictures scattered around facebook and my phone but I cannot be assed to post it up. This is the summary of my life here for the past few weeks.

SNOWW

2010-11-29T04:07:00.000+08:00

It is snowing everywhere except for manchester. PHEW. I hope it doesn't snow anytime soon wtf.

It is already sooo epic cold without the snow, imagine when it FINALLY snows, how frozen everyone will be :(

I think I am gonna start wearing gloves in my room. The heater is seriously too damn small lah omg. haih. I am down with a badass sore throat. No voice at all wtf. :(

I need a girl

2010-11-25T20:20:00.000+08:00

I've been so lazy for the past week. So many unassessed assignments that I don't even wanna start. What a freaking waste of my time.. all I wanna do is just.. do nothing and shop around all day long.

What kind of student am I? It freaking snowed a little bit this morning. GLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. I hate snow. I don't know what to write here anymore, it's weird.

Flutterby

2010-11-11T10:03:00.000+08:00

Taking a breather from my text book.. I have been exceedingly lazy the past few weeks, not keeping up with my readings.. and now, this is the result. I have to read excessive chunks of materials in a short period of time to keep up with class, and also to complete my 1200word essay due... dum dum dum.. tomorrow.

I know procrastinating is a bad thing and all that, but I honestly can't help it. As soon as I knew that first year grades doesn't count towards the final one, it was as if a the "study hard" note in my head just.. got torn and got replaced by one telling me to go have fun wtf.

Why am I such a horrible student. T_T I dread winter. It's only autumn and I'm cold as hell. Technically that's impossible, but, I digress. The weather sucks and I have to wear 3 layers before going out wtf. My tolerance for cold is .. that bad.

Winter coats are also.. super fugly and makes you look fat. Not only do I have to look short, I now also look stumpy. JOY. Why am I thinking about clothes when I have an uncompleted essay anyway? I will get back to you, my dear dear contract law.

To not study...

2010-11-05T03:47:00.001+08:00

Why is Brunei so happening now after I leave?!

Chemistry O level paper incident
3D movies now available
girl in pink baju kurong wanting to commit suicide, so drama
fire in the mall
Cig price increases

I sit by myself.. talking to the moon

2010-11-04T09:04:00.000+08:00

Taking a break from the crazily versed cases. :'( I find that the hardest part of writing an essay - or anything in life - is the beginning. Once you start, it will flow, but the huge amount of spark required to jump start the engine is.. difficult to muster.

When you finally gather up the determination to do it.. you will discover that time is running low.. and your determination evolves into panic.. and nothing that comes from panic will be good, right?

I actually went grocery shopping today. With earphones in my ears and recycle bag in my bag, I walked with purpose to Tesco. Halfway through, it began to rain which sucks a lot.. walking on the slippery autumn leaves already treaded by dozens, I realized that I tend to think quite a bit when I'm walking.

Walking in this strange city alone, hearing nothing but what is playing from my phone, shaded from the rain under my umbrella and watching the world rush by in a blur only seems to inject an acute feeling of loneliness in me.

The rush of people walked with PURPOSE. It was almost the end of lunch time, and everybody is rushing back somewhere. They have a deadline, they all seem to have a sense of direction in life. A routine they are used to, and not have to worry about the next stage of their life.

I want that. I want to have a purpose. To know what I have to do when I wake up, instead of just thinking to myself, "oh, it's another day, what should I do today?"

I want to belong.

blueberries and blackberries

2010-11-04T03:21:00.000+08:00

Day 3 into reading week, and still nada feel to write my essays or study, at all. Been spending my days either doing absolutely nothing online, or going shopping, or shopping online.

Some pictures of the alton towers.

Train tickets

Gloomy stoke-on-trent

My lunch today because I missed eating sushi wtf. VERY CHEAT ONE. The sashimi on top of the sushi is SMOKED SALMON and not raw one. -_-.......

On a side note, I cooked char siew today.. and it failed. I confidently told weihong yesterday that NOBODY can fail a dish that requires you to marinate the chicken with sauce in a can, and oven bake it.

and... I FAILED. :'( I used the right temperature, and used the right time lor.. but then my chicken was burnt and black and dried and NOT LIKE CHAR SIEW AT ALL.

I feel so cheated. Everyone's saying how lee kum kee is awesome.. but how can something that will become chao da be awesome?! I am just not destined to cook -_-. Shall stick to eating out from now on. Less hassle because no smelly hair/clothes + no dishes to do !

Series of unfortunate event

2010-11-02T07:49:00.000+08:00

Will have pictures of my trip to Alton towers up.. but first, I must talk about how unlucky my entire journey was. It's soooo soi you won't even think it's real.

First off, we missed our train at 6:35am, yeah, I know, who wakes up at that ungodly hour right to go to stoke on trent (some town) so we can catch a 8+am bus to Alton towers.. but then since we missed the early train, have to take another one half an hour later! (luckily my ticket is an open one, so no charges)

Reached stoke to realize that we're too late to catch the bus, and have to watch one and a half hour for the next bus.. so we kinda explored around straffordshire uni (I think that's what it is). The place was quite grey and I didn't like it that much.. it was dull and not vibrant lah.

ANYWAY. fast forward 1.5hours and another 1 hour bus trip later, we are at alton towers, YAY!

Ride one was okay.. but let's talk about ride 2. You know how they have two queues, one for normal riders, one for SINGLE RIDERS right? Where they fill you into spaces whenever there are odd numbered groups.

Anyway.. queued to get there for half an hour to realize that... we are slower than the normal queue lor!! Some more not moving okay! so.... RE-QUEUED.. zzzz.. spent one and a half hour queuing for one damn ride.. and not even that worth it :(

MOVING ON.... park closes at 4.. but our bus to station is postponed.. so we waited in the cold with a whole bunch of other people till.. 6. :'( and it started to RAIN.

Okay lah. After becoming frozen, we got to the station.. and missed a train by 19secs.. but then next train is like 15mins later anyway, so it's okay.

Being hiao, I went to get drinks from the vending machine lor.. and what do ya know.. the machine WON'T EAT MY MONEY.. it kept on spitting it back out.. and when it finally cough out my 7up (after multiple attempts)... I was super excited, cause I was damn thirsty.

When I open up the bottle.. the best shit in the world happened. It exploded. OKAY LAH. not exploded, but how do you say it, spray all over? Damn lucky man me, my coat kena gg. T____T

When I wanted to clean up.. I realized that the women's bathroom is ACROSS the track of the train, and there is no way I am going to climb down the track of the train WTF suicide meh?

So I had to *ahem* behpaiseh use the gents one -_- END OF MY SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENT.

You say lah, how can so many unlucky things happen to a person IN A DAY? Really murphy's law lah. SIGH.

Shoes

2010-10-31T23:27:00.000+08:00

Got a blackberry a few days ago, YAY! .. and I got to say, as ugly as the phone is, the qwerty is awesome. I AM A CONVERT!

I was an avid touch screen fan lor. Now... I just have to find ways to make the bb looks nicer because it actually looks very ugly now, inside and out. It is a "short and fat" black blob, according to my brother.

Techy stuff aside, IS THIS NICE? Smells super yummy some more! I think it is a good idea to have nice smelling shoes!

No stock though. Give me my pumps before winter comes.

Also need to buy uggs for winter. Sucks to not be able to wear heels anymore cause I walk so much.

This post is actually pointless. BYE.

New room!

2010-10-31T00:26:00.000+08:00

Pictures of my new new room ! It is absolutely awesome compared to the old one. For one, I have my own toilet, it is relatively sound proof, flat mates are better, and LOOK AT ALL THOSE SPACE.

I also don't have a centralized heater, which is freaking awesome! The 5 socket plugs is a positive, being on the second floor with a pretty cleaner surrounding, being closer to the laundry room....and the list goes on.

My fugly duvet cover from the bedding pack. Need new duvet cover asap.

Notice board + shelf

Mini toilet, and if you look carefully enough, my toilet paper is PINK ^-^

My study table at the very end with my bookshelves.

Err... door + toilet + laundry corner

This is why my wallet is so heavy -_-

... HI!

2010-10-29T08:03:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging in a very very long time ever since I moved, because I love it so much and am having so much fun here, and also for the fact that two very cute little children is staying over at my place until tomorrow, making it look like an earthquake has hit my room.

Update soon!

My room here

2010-10-22T02:50:00.000+08:00

Moving house and saying goodbye to my pathetic room tomorrow, YAY!!! :P

This is the small prison I was stuck in for the past month :

Bed + closet with gym bag + book

Corner 1 with laundry bag/shoes/shopping/bags

My super sad ceiling

"bookshelf"

This is how my wall looks like. Not only does it look gross, it is GREEN. Forgot to take picture of my window + radiator, but it is not important.

To anyone coming to manchester, don't stay in oak house please. Sucks big time!

You confuse me..

2010-10-20T07:26:00.000+08:00

Why do people use big words when small words usually suffice to convey a message?

For me, reading complicated chunks of texts require a lot of attention, because I'll have to read, and re-read certain sentences to actually get it. It's not my fault that I get things slower, but the author could have saved me and everyone else (speaking for the population with the bad english) the trouble by writing in simpler terms, right?

What is the point of writing a long long long sentence, that by the time you get to the end of the sentence, you forgot what the sentence is actually about?

I always feel like I'm lost in the mass of adjectives and descriptions sometimes. T_____T As interesting as the subject is, try reading every single sentence twice or thrice, occasionally checking meanings of certain words to make sure that you do not misunderstand the meaning and so twist the whole context.

" By these powers we may create good things or low, useful articles or luxuries, things extraordinary or banal, and we will be judged accordingly - as saintly or mean, skillful or ordinary, industrious and fortunate or debased, friendly and kind or cold and inhuman. "

What is the point? Give me concise sentences in simply english any day. :'( I miss chunghwa english.. was studying there till primary 3, and when I transferred to SAS, I couldn't speak english at all.

I don't communicate in english at home, and the english teacher in chms was horrible (or it could be just me), and basically I just couldn't speak english la. When I moved to SAS, I got forced to learn english cause everyone talks in english, even the classes.

I guess surroundings like that force you to learn. In the same way, I am forced to learn how to do laundry, cook, and learn to take the bus.

Honestly, I really hate cooking. I find it so horrible and such a chore. Sometimes I just skip a meal altogether because I really cannot be arsed to cook.. it's not the washing up that puts me off.. it's the freaking process of COOKING and being near the stove, knives, and raw stuff.

Cooked chicken yesterday, and gagged defrosting my chicken. Raw meat is so disgusting when you have to touch it.

Just realized that I came all the way from words to my hatred of cooking. -_-

Anyway, will post up some pictures of my current room soon, because.. I'm MOVING this weekend. To a better hall, with a better surrounding, within a closer proximity to the school, and EN SUITE. Joy!!

Angles

2010-10-18T07:43:00.003+08:00

Too cute :P

Salmon!

2010-10-18T03:59:00.000+08:00

Parents managed to convince my bro to come here to study, woohoo!

Being the awesome big sister that I AM *ahem*, I am required to find a college for my bro and another son of mom's friend who will be studying with my bro. It's not fair that I didn't get this kinda arrangement because I was the eldest child with no help so I ended up being stuck in brunei :'(

Can anyone recommend a good college for engineering, and if possibly also architecture too in the UK? Preferably london, but other parts will be totally fine too.

Yesterday while on the bus, I saw a wig on the side mirror. It got me thinking.. does chinese ghosts 僵尸 exist in places other than asia?

It will be so weird cause the ghost wouldn't be able to get to places cause he won't be able to read english right. HAHAHAHAHAH. Okay.

I am going to study right now because.. it seems like the right thing to do when everybody is also doing it. From what I've seen so far, my course mates are really diligent and competitive and not laid back at all. I miss high school.. where homeworks mean copying people's work.

Been trying to read certain news online so that I am more familiar with politics, and so that I can discuss more during seminars. Everyone seems to have a diploma/A level in law.. it makes me feel so inferior not having any previous knowledge about it at all.

I can safely say that being here in a foreign country is a great experience, but I really miss home. True friends are hard to come by, and I know there's a saying that says that the people you meet in university are usually for life, but I've yet to feel that vibe yet. Rather, I feel strangely alone even when I am with people.

I guess I just need some more time to adapt and get comfortable. Meanwhile, I am just procrastinating my studying by blogging. T_____T Off I go.

Chicken and mushroom

2010-10-15T01:32:00.000+08:00

This is gonna sound quite gross and cheap for some people, BUT.. I really enjoy buying second hand books to read lor! I don't find it filthy or anything -_-"

There's quite a few sales here and there, for charity and what nots, and I tend to always come home with one or two new novels to read while doing laundry, or generally to pass time with on the bus, although I should rightfully be reading my growing amount of texts.

T____T. Text books seriously cost a bomb, and while novels aren't exactly expensive, I could put that extra money I save from getting cheaper books into say... new clothes, right?

Haven't been to piccadilly in.. *counts* 3 days. 3 whole days of no shopping so far, in an effort to spend less. It is tedious. Everyday after lectures, I just wanna go shopping. There is a never ending list of things to buy.

Please let this unhealthy phase pass soon. :P

Applying to transfer to a new bigger prettier newer hall! .. and still waiting. I am too shy to take pics of my fugly room, but maybe I will.. to warn everyone never to live in such a cheap hall wtf.

Anyway :P BYEE!

RBS is shit

2010-10-12T23:20:00.002+08:00

Fuck RBS la. It's the shittiest bank in the WORLD. I got my debit card, and they sent me a letter with a pin for a DIFFERENT card, which I don't have.

They then ordered a reminder pin ( for the debit card ). It's been 4 days, NOT HERE.

Nevermind.. For digital banking, they mailed me my customer number, BUT NO ACTIVATION CODE.. so I can't do shit online. WTF MAN.

Their customer service just transfers me from one helpline to another helpline, one branch to another. FUCK LAH. RBS sucks shit. Don't ever ever use it if you come to the uk. So angry.

Haih

2010-10-11T23:57:00.002+08:00

can't decide if I love or hate my life here. Everyday is the same.

Wake up, skype, eat breakfast, check for mail/parcels, go to lectures, find a place to eat lunch, go shopping until dinner time, take the bus home, and come online.

I hope I'd get sick of shopping before I go broke. :(

Exasperated

2010-10-11T03:05:00.001+08:00

I feel like killing myself lor. Got me a wallet in london (yay me), but of all the people I ask, 90%... DOESN'T LIKE IT LOR.

It makes me look at it in a, "hmmm, maybe you're not so nice" kinda way. :'(

I think I'm going to go for a refund and wait for next season's goods. ZZZZZZ. I care too much about opinions to just live with it. AHHHHRRRGHHHHHH.

I hate myself. Saw a really nice one at sg airport, BABY PINK, probably from last season, and it's super cheap some more! Tax free shopping!

This is the one I get. Should I return it, yes no maybe?

In real life the pink is not so pink. It's more like old-ish pink. :'( Opinions?

Queensway

2010-10-09T19:00:00.002+08:00

I am super sick right now. I blame it on the guy sitting next to me on the bus. He kept on coughing and wheezing throughout the entire trip lor OMG. Now I am sick. T__T

Happy day today because it is saturday, and thus shopping day! Am currently at london now with dylan. I love the location of where we are staying. It's got duck rice right opposite, and we went for malaysian food yesterday.

NICE LOR. :') Home food is the the the best! :P

Fire alarms

2010-10-06T20:44:00.001+08:00

I am super super super angry. I hate this place so much man. We had TWO fire alarms yesterday.. at 6:30am and 8+am.

Okay lor, once a week. I can accept, but THIS MORNING, got fire alarm again.. at 3:40am.. and wait.. there's more.. another one at 6am.

You would think 4 times in two nights is more than enough aye? BUT NO. Another one at almost 7. WTF. Can't I get some uninterrupted sleep at all?! Super angry.

Anyway. Rockclimbing in a while, hope I don't die :P

I've got a pink kettle

2010-10-04T04:57:00.002+08:00

I have realized that recently, my blog posts are all super long and filled with useless details of my life, and this is another one of them, so unless you're super bored, or you're sim :P, don't read it at all!

Yesterday was a happy shopping day if not for certain little things that went wrong. Firstly, I couldn't find selfriges. -_-" was super desperate to buy some balancing oil from shu uemura cause H says it's good but couldn't find it at all. =(

Went to Boots, and still, NADA. Ended up with some mediocre body shop moisturizer, and surprisingly, my pimples are subsiding! See, I KNEW IT! I knew it was the stupid nivea cream that made me have a break out! *triumphant*

Went for hotpot buffet yesterday with a whopping price of 18pounds but then still, chinese food is always welcome! Some more the soup base is super yummy! .. but then.. my coat smells bad now :( how! Can someone tell me how to wash wool? Do I just dump it into the washing machine, or must I get it dry cleaned?

Slept over D's yesterday.. and being the smart smart smart me, totally left my groceries in the room for the whole night at room temperature. Bought a lot of things like kimchi, smoked salmon, ham, yoghurt and generally things that belong in the fridge. -_-

By the time I realized that the food were supposed to put in the fridge, it was the next morning.. and only cause the kimchi started giving out some kinda smell. OH NO. -_-

Cooking alone kinda sucks. I miss cooking with sim even though he is as lousy as me in cooking and we will end up forcing each other to eat what we cooked cause it isn't nice everytime. :(

Some pictures of the place, but then they are mostly old colonial buildings and trees. I love parks. So yummy to just sit somewhere with a book, if it's not raining and cold like it is most of the time lah.

Some where in the city near piccadilly. It's got quite a few statue. the one sitting down behind the tree is queen E!

Ohhhh. Something about this place. This square has got lots of tram tracks on the roads, so I get paranoid when walking because there are a lot of buses and trams everywhere.

Proof that I cooked. I know all of you thinks that I'm lying when I'm cooking hmpf. HERE YOU GO!

the.. city?

luncheon meat + egg with onions. I love luncheon meet! I was told that I cannot just put in the fridge after cutting up a bit to cook, so I cooked everything and froze it! :D

There is a lot of rice on it cause I cooked too much fml and if I split it into two meals it will be too little so I had to finish it :(

Empty place in the city

outside my hostel. Got a lot of squirrels running about and birdies also! I know it looks super gloomy but it is because the weather IS very gloomy lately. It's been raining everyday.

Trees are everywhere!

Pretty fairy lights!

I will decorate my room properly once I know whether I get a transfer or not, and I am definitely decorating my room with fairy lights. :P

Vain pic of me in Dylan's much much nicer + warmer room ( they have their OWN heater + ensuite while I have a central one sux2bme :( life is not fair)

Am actually hearing this song from fahrenheit 心疼你的心疼, it's actually quite nice! lecture at 12 tomorrow yay!

and.. OH OH OH OH . guess who found mee goreng + maggi in the asian supermarket. ^-^ So happy okay!! But then it tastes a tiny bit different cause the onion oil like got whitish stuff inside one? o.o

Oxford roaddddddddd

2010-10-02T07:42:00.000+08:00

I have Totally stopped cooking my meals already. So bored of cooking. -__-" This is 所谓的三分钟热度. It's been subway and domino's for the past 3 days. Just looked in the mirror and .. hated myself. Hell I'm huge. My torso is huge.. my thighs are huge.. and I have like triple chin. I'm like a huge ass hippo I can barely stand looking at myself now. T_T

Will lose weight ASAP. meanwhile... I also need to start saving. Been spending a lot, and planning to spend more next weekend in London :'( I actually told myself I will take care of finances properly, and already I'm failing so badly. I kinda envy those people who can always restrain themselves from spending useless things.

The worst part of my life is that I HAVE A LOT OF PIMPLES NOW. Going to buy some emergency creams to kill off my pimples. I thought the weather here is supposed to make my skin better one? How come it's getting worse?! Sian mannnnn super suay.

ANYWAY. Course mates are quite competitive :S. There's two of us super lazy ones.. who are kinda planning to slack through the year, and this super diligent guy said this to me, "It's a law course, it's every man for himself." WAH T_T. Guess I have to start studying and reading my texts soon! Plus exercise more.

OKAY. End of the school week, SHOPPING DAY TOMORROW, YAY! :D

Picadilly

2010-09-30T05:54:00.000+08:00

Just now, I got lost on the way back home. Got into the wrong bus and ended up at some far away area. The feeling of being lost is so scary, ended up being shown the way home by this angmoh haih! I feel so fail because I cannot even find my own way home :(

Then... I'm having a major break out on my forehead. ZZZZ. I am quite worried that it will evolve to become acne because everyone knows that acne starts from little pimples here and there. It could be my cream. Then again, it could also be my diet, and thus ANYTHING. :(

.. and I really miss meegoreng + laksa + bahkutteh + a whole list of asian food from home. Abrupt ending here because I wanna study!

Thank you

2010-09-29T05:46:00.001+08:00

If I am supposed to take 2 haemoglobin pills a day, and I took one today and forgot the second one, and like say take 3 tomorrow, does that work? I can't seem to remember to eat my pills at all T_T. Once, I woke up and ate one, then a while later, I forgot I ate one and had another one wtf.

Here's something really personal, so please don't judge me. Ever since my last break up, I've been quite careful with my heart (ahem, yes I have a heart) because I am afraid I am gonna hand it to some other jerk and he's gonna throw it back at me.

While showering, I realized that even if I am dating someone, I won't actually publicize it to the world and sometimes even deny it altogether, not because I am ashamed or anything, but because when people know about it, well, there is nothing wrong with that. The problem is when something goes wrong, which happens like every single time without fail so far in the 18 years of my life, Anyway, they will have to ask me why, what happened between you guys and I hate that part. What am I to do? Explain to a multitude of people over and over again? Ignore them and listen to things like "OH so you don't trust me enough to tell me huh?!"

From really disappointing past experiences, I have learnt not to expect, and just accept. I think I have been a much happier person ever since I started to stop being childish by expecting someone's world to revolve around me as soon as he gets involved with me. I actually just wasted 2 hours of my life reading something between this couple, and I hate the way the guy treats the girl. (the 2 hours was meant to be reading my textbook but I have no lecture tomorrow anyway so I'll just read it then! *in denial* )It just made me appreciate what I have even more because it is a million times better than the kind of treatment she is getting. I used to be that girl.

I thought if I morphed myself to be someone with the attributes you want, it will be enough. Apparently not, I tried so hard to be someone I wasn't, was walked all over and treated so badly you wouldn't even believe it. It's probably not his fault, that could just be the way he is. This one line he mentioned to me was that " I treated my ex like that, I don't even need to contact her at all for a whole week what, why you need leh?" was so memorable. No wonder it's an EX. I so naively believed him when it was improbable that two person in love would want to do that to each other.. and it turns out that he was cheating.

Anyway, I digress, what I want to say is that when a guy takes you for granted, it's time to evaluate this relationship and whether what you give actually balances with what you get. I'm not saying that in a relationship you should only give how much you receive, but rather, treat it as a balance. With one person giving and one person receiving, the giving one will just get tired and the receiving one will take everything for granted and this relationship will not be sustainable.

I'm here to say thank you to the one person who (so far) have not disappointed me at all. Of course there will be disagreements, and misunderstandings here and there, but thank you for accepting me for who I am. I am so glad I do not have to twist myself into a pretzel to stand next to you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you, and yes, I do in fact love you. :)

Dedicatedto-Chien ;)

2010-09-27T05:00:00.001+08:00

(regarding my emotional and cute entry, lets post date this to october. *shy x10000000* SORRRRRYYY WRONG MONTH :$ :$ :$ )

Hello babygirl, it's your birthday tomorrow at UK time 5pm (BN time 12am) but I will be on the way home from a lecture so HERE IS YOUR ADVANCE BDAY POST!

Even though I am super super far away, I wanna greet you happy birthday! Thank you for being there for me all the time when I need you, whenever and wherever. I know I can totally call you when I'm drunk/passed out/broke/have tired legs so you have to carry me. (LOVEEEEE!) Loving and missing you from so far away.

Have fun on your birthday and be good, you also have to give me your address so I can mail your present to you wtf. I hope I got the correct size fml :(

I'm sorry I cannot personally be there to kiss and hug you, but then I am here to give you virtual kiss mwah mwah.

I am so happy to have you in my life. So many firsts with you. (ahem, sounds kinda lesbo HAHAHA<3) Like travelling alone to visit you in KL. I miss you so much. Keep true to your words and come visit me right here okay!

You're the most adorable baby girl of mine who cannot for her life keeps her finances straight, just like me. When we go shopping together we always tell each other to stop us from buying stuff, yet still ending up getting everything and getting broke in the end.

(me in my skinnier days. I hope you will kiss a fatter version now. AHEM.)

I miss you much much much. You're finally legal, and I may be able to sit in your car with you driving legally! You can now drink alcohol without worries cause you're EIGHTEEN.

One random morning, we all woke up to have breakfast at jinchew!

I miss singing karaoke with you okay. We can sing the same songs over and over again, and we always end up singing till we get a sore throat the next day.

I miss eating with you. We will order tons of food because we wanna eat everything and end up not finishing it (poor elaine<3) because we are greedy like that.

I miss ninja-ing with you because it was so exciting and fresh for me then. I miss playing rummy with you. I miss picking you up and waiting 10000 years for you to change.

Remember the time when we both got cheated into eating milk pudding that tastes bland because the menu says it comes with bird nest and it turned out to be a tiny spoonful?!

So much to miss about you, but s'okay, I'll be back in 9 months!

I end this with a picture of us skipping around HK disneyland because we're cool like that. 8D

Fiddle

2010-09-27T04:39:00.000+08:00

Passed by a beggar yesterday and I was rushing somewhere so I couldn't give him some change and felt super guilty T_T. Chris tried to consoled me by saying, "Don't give it to him, he's prolly gonna spend it in the pub the moment you give it to him."

Ah. Sometimes I feel guilty for things I didn't know just because I know I could have done them even if I didn't have to. :(

tinned tomatoes!

2010-09-26T23:42:00.000+08:00

Spent a very unhealthy amount of money the last few days I'm here, (think in few hundreds, and in pounds), of absolutely nothing. Trying to take care of my finances is quite difficult, but I do try to write things down.

I've never been particularly good with my finances - tend to overspend. For every single holiday trip with my friends, I max out my limit and completely finish up my money on I don't know what.

So... starting next month, I HAVE A PLAN. To budget. Properly. To record down (or try to) what I spend on each and every day.

AND THEN to try to cut down on what isn't really necessary (for example, at the moment, it is junk food - tons of chocolates and chips, everyday - and buy alternatives or just simply stop) Maybe I will substitute junk food with fruits. The problem is that it is getting chilly and I am getting hungry all the time. :(

Not only that, I am going to start eating healthy. Started cooking today, well, rice anyway.

Hopefully my financial status will become better, and I will be a good and not wasteful person. I will learn to grow the fuck up, be matured, manage my finances, and study hard.

Little update

2010-09-26T06:57:00.000+08:00

Went shopping again.. and bought... RICE. and soy sauce. and oyster sauce. I was literally high with happiness. Also went for chinese food with the guys tonight. Happiness. Sigh.

I never knew rice tasted so good. Been eating bread the past few days ( because of my inability to cook ) with different store bought fillings.

Or a meal could be junk food or take out. Sorry, tummy.

Anyway, no proper asian food at all, and TODAY, I finally have everything I need to make a chinese meal complete. ^-^ (I am so cute)

It's getting colder!

2010-09-24T00:27:00.001+08:00

Third day here. I am a lot more familiar with buses and what nots, but still hating my room. Feels like a prison cell :(

For the whole of 3 days, my diet so far consists of ... bread. All kinds of bread, and I am thoroughly SICK of it. :'( I swear I will buy rice soon ( which btw is expensive and have to get it all the way from chinatown fml ) The only other thing I eat besides bread is... junk food. I miss home food.

Anyway. visited the museum today, that cheered me up! .. and joined a bunch (well, two) of student unions! Ah. pictures.

Room before I am due to leave :S

Super cute egyptian drawing of a cow (carved on a stone LOL)

Pretty sky outside of the excruciating flight

HI FROM HERE!

2010-09-23T15:06:00.000+08:00

Going to apply for a transfer. Mom agreed that I should because of the environment. :(

Summary : My accommodation is really really noisy. The walls are thin, and the place is mini. The kitchen is also really filthy, and it's a bus ride away from school. Anyway, hopefully my transfer goes through.

Otherwise, the weather's great. Shopping's cheap and fantastic, and booze is cheap. Hopefully everything will be better when school starts ( totally missed induction week omfg )

Homesick

2010-09-22T01:35:00.000+08:00

Meant to blog about this on the plane, but my laptop was low on battery.

Anyway, I am here, at Manchester.. and to be honest, feeling very lonely. My room is tiny, and it is green, and I just found out that in the whole block, I am the only asian. Not that they're racist or anything, but it's just not the same. I don't feel like I belong at all. I can see that they (at least majority of the people on my flat) are really into drinking, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but too much of anything is never too good.

Getting ahead of myself there. Digression probably caused by my jumbled up thoughts right now. Back to what I wanted to type out on the plane.

The flight here was .. painful. That was the only word I could use to describe it. Before even flying, I had to transit in Singapore for 8 hours, which wasn't as painful as I thought it'd be, I had company. Anyway, fast forward, in the plane, leaving sg.

Watching the city lights of Singapore shrink from beneath me, it suddenly dawned on me that I am leaving home, to be on my own. Of course my family's still going to be there for me, but their physical presence is still very important. During that take off, as I sat at my window seat watching Singapore diminish, I felt panic, sadness and scared, all at once. Panic being the main emotion.

It was something I didn't feel when I left Brunei, because I am familiar with sg. I did feel sad, but then again, excitement probably cancelled that sadness out, and not a hint of panic as to what lies ahead. Leaving sg, was another different story. The future suddenly seemed to lonely and dark. I was in a plane with nobody I know, going to a place I have never seen before, and doing things (cooking/laundry :( ) on my own, with nobody to supervise anymore.

I cried all of the ascend, and tried to see the last of sg until it became totally dark. I cried, mostly to myself, because I am scared. I was terrified of the future, and upon reaching here, I still am. I think I just want to go back to where I came from, where I am familiar with everyone and everything.

Starting afresh is so difficult. I just want to go back home.

习惯就好

2010-09-19T15:31:00.000+08:00

When I earn money, I will save up for a porsche panarema wtf so sexy! There's so many cars I like/want to have.. Like EOS. Totally my dream car. Or a BMW. Any pretty looking one. I am such a sucker for pretty cars.

Meanwhile, I've bigger things to worry about (instead of what car to buy when/if I have too much money *daydreams*) such as whether or not my visa will be ready tomorrow.

If it is, I shall be off tomorrow! Packed, repacked, and re-repacked my bag just now. Before 3 rounds of elimination, it was... 46kg. It is now 33kg.

Still overweight, but meh, a lot less. (limit is 30kg) Also changed from a shoulder bag to a backpack because I realized that I have to carry my super heavy laptop + everything else inside and while a backpack looks ugly, it is more functional and has less strain on my poor body.

I think one of the reasons I am at my current height is because back in primary days, I used to bring all my books to school for fear of forgetting them.

Once I forgot to bring my stuff, and my primary 3 teacher, some grumpy old teacher, emptied the contents of my bag in front of the class ccb I still remember how humiliating it was and she only did it to me. T_T

I also remembered how forgetful I was. In the primary days when I was still in CHMS, we had like the chinese writing thingy class, and I will always forget to bring my brush + ink. My dad will then bring me to the school canteen (stationery shop) to buy it. By the end of the year, I had like 10 sets. Ditto with my P.E kit.

For some weird reason, I found these memories fond.. but the situation years back sure didn't feel nice. It was always scared. I was one forgetful child. Heh.

Haih. Depressing

2010-09-14T23:36:00.001+08:00

THE MOST WTF THING HAPPENED. (as if not getting my visa done in time and having to postpone my flight isn't already wtf enough)

My two baby hamsters.. timon and pumba.. GAVE BIRTH. Timon, who is now renamed Timone, fucking gave birth to like 6 baby hamsters. (I think, couldn't count properly)

I feel so betrayed okay. One of my baby boys suddenly turned into a GIRL and gave birth to MORE BABIES.

I vividly remember telling petlink that I wanted TWO MALES in case of pregnancy, AND THIS HAPPENS!

When sim told me, EH GOT HAMSTER BABIES WTF, I thought he was kidding, who knew it was true. The babies are bald, red, and quite ugly.. and the cage is not big enough for them all.

Them horny hamsters will kill me one day. I am so so so angry. Going to the pet shop tomorrow to complain + find a home for the babies that I can't keep at all.

Stress

2010-09-14T10:19:00.000+08:00

This is so depressing. The visa officer told me that my visa should be ready Monday (yesterday) the week before. It's Tuesday, and I called them to find out that everything is still not ready, in MANILA.

.. they cannot give me a time frame as to WHEN it will be back so I know when to change my goddamn flight. I don't even know what the hell went wrong. I sent everything off on the 31st, and the 7th.

At least give me an indication as to WHEN I will get it back so I can change my flight which is fucking fully booked these days. Stress man.

This is supposed to be posted ytd..

2010-09-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

The siren for my health actually came on yesterday. I fainted. One moment, I was talking to my parents, the next, I opened my eyes to see the ceiling and my parents shouting at me.

This is the second time I have ever fainted, in my life.

T_T

According to my blood report (haven't gotten the full doc's analysis yet, just a brief one), I have slightly less red blood cells than the required level.. so maybe that might be the problem. (but the doctor also mentioned that it shouldn't be much of a problem and that I need to eat more meat.)

Using my logic (I like to think I have lots of that), I assume that less red blood cells = less haemoglobin = less oxygen for the brain = faint.

After the fainting episode, my parents concluded that it is because I don't eat proper meals, so, knowing my almost non-existent ability to cook, they still force me to cook dinner everyday (for the next 3 days).

TODAY, I cooked... veggie.. which was totally edible. With packaged soup + canned meat. Everybody on the table took like a mini scoop of rice lor. Damn don't give face.

Anyway. Hope that my visa will be back tomorrow. Pray and hope that it will come back to me so I can fly in time!

Visa application to UK

2010-09-11T00:56:00.000+08:00

Since I had so much trouble doing my visa, I shall post a tier 4 general student (above 18)* visa guide to applicants to uk, from Brunei! No guarantee of it being accurate, but it is what I went through.

Things you need to do (which you will find on the visa website if you google it):
- Get an appointment online with the uk border agency
- Print out Appendix 8 form (which you will have to fill and it is very troublesome)
- Prepare one visa picture
- Prepare Bank statement/bank letter
- Get Result transcript
- Visa application fee $438
- Print out checklist for tier 4 visa (if you feel like you need it, I did)
- Bring your passport
- Print out your CAS

I find it quite convenient that you can book your appointment to submit your visa things online. After you're done, print it out. You should probably get an appointment at least a month before you are due to leave, unless you wanna panic and be emotionally distressed when/if your visa got rejected, just like me. It wasn't fun, believe me. T_T

Anyway, filling in the appendix 8 form is fairly simple. You need to have your CAS from your university providing most of the details, and the rest you can fill it in. I printed out my CAS too.

For the picture, it will have to be a passport sized one, with a white background. I think all the photo places will know what to do if you tell them it's for the UK visa.

The bank statement/letter is super troublesome (for me lah). I used a bank letter and asked standard chartered to help me write a letter. In it includes my dad's name, account number, amount of funds available (must be enough to cover one year's tuition fee + maintenance cost), and the fact that the money has been in the account for at least 28 days).

Since the money is in the account of my parent/guardian, I have to provide additional documents showing that my dad IS my dad. You have to submit your birth certificate (or some court proof to show that your dad is your dad). If your birth cert is in malay (mine is, cause I'm Malaysian, you have to get it translated. I got mine done at the high court. It apparently takes very long, but I have a friend having someone else translated it and not from the court.) The translated copy must show details of the translator's name, confirmation that it is an accurate translation, and be dated and include signature of the translator.

Also, if the money is in your guardian's account, you need your guardian to write a letter that confirms his relationship to you and that he/she allows you to use the money.

Result transcript is taken from the school. It's the one that shows the END result, and not the unit by unit result. Anyway, it will be stated in your CAS, mine stated that my results are verified via UCAS, so it's fine.

Others : I also brought along my IELTS results because they said I needed proof that my english is okay.

*If you are under 18, your parents/legal guardian have to write some sort of permission letter for you again

Anyway, it is better to have your appointment early in the morning. As early as possible ( if you can wake up ), that way, if the lady at the counter tells you do go and alter some document, you still have time. They close at 12 (they courier our stuff all the way to manila to get it approved at 12pm).

After they accept your documents to be couriered off to manila, they will give you a receipt. It looks insignificant, but it is actually very important. To collect your document, you need to bring the receipt + IC.

I *think* that was all I did. Hopefully it will be helpful for those of you applying the visa to fly off to uk next year.

The british high com is situated at yayasan by the way. In the same building as DST, on the second floor. I got lost at the paul&elizabeth building thinking it was there and found the german embassy instead wtf. Luckily I was there an hour prior to my appointment. Anyway, hope my visa will be back in time, because it ISN'T yet.

Le Sigh

2010-09-10T13:09:00.000+08:00

Hari Raya's tomorrow.. meaning... finally no more long queues to buy groceries, YAY. Anyway, while shopping for my necessities today, my mom started telling me all kinds of reminders of what to do/not to do in uk. Mommy is afraid that I will buy a car in uk and get myself paralyzed/disabled from an accident because it happened to her friend's son wtf. She was telling me again and again how I can not get a car and drive.

Me buying a car = improbable okay. As if I got enough $$ anyway. -_- I don't get why she is so worried, BUT HEHEHEHEH LOVE MY MOM.

Okay, I am quite random and what I'm typing is not coherent at all because I'm still in the middle of packing, and still awaiting the tidal wave of emotions to hit me because I am leaving soon, but so far, the sea is calm.

Anyway, the most depressing thing happened recently. I went for my medical, and found out that... I am actually not 155cm. I have been cheating myself all these years. :'(

原来 I am only 154cm WTF. This is so depressing. I wonder if I can grow a tiny bit more if I chiong jumping and drinking milk. Apparently we grow shorter when we reach middle age.. how can! The air I breathe is already at people's armpit level lor. How can life be so unfair?

It's only been 3 days, and my blood/urine report is out. Hooray for private hospitals! Here's a little update. My court translation for my birth certificate was done in a matter of hours, 2, to be exact. It did cost a little bit more, but well, if the corruption in this instance aids me, why not.

I actually don't see the point of me bringing so much luggage. I mean, I barely know how to use half the things I bring. I hope my rice don't come out weird.. this is going to be my first virgin experience cooking rice, by MYSELF... and boiling water. (does the one used in bio/phy/chem pracs count?) To be truly honest, I don't even think I will cook that much because washing up is a hassle.

Mom bought the rice cooker with the rice/steam/congee function because she deemed me useless in the kitchen, which is kind of true :(

******* above part was actually written yesterday night before I got distracted and went out wtf. Anyway, I am drinking pre-packaged ribena because it is so sickeningly sweet but yet so awesome. Yeah I know I contradict myself but I can't help it. I am that indecisive. Anyway.

One of my bags... is fucking heavy. Like, seriously really really heavy. Thank god for wheels. Confirm overweight one. Packing is a bitch. :(

Packing

2010-09-09T14:46:00.000+08:00

Went shopping with mommy to buy suitcases and kettles and rice cooker and what nots just now. I have almost everything I need already, so I have no more excuses to postpone packing. T_T

I have no idea how to fit 18 years in Brunei into two suit cases wtf. Too much to bring, too little space. I don't even know what clothes to bring.

This is so depressing :'(

Visa

2010-09-07T21:45:00.000+08:00

OH no no no no no. Visa got rejected and might not get done in time so I am panicking right now. Going to wake up bright and early tomorrow at 7:45am to rush off to court and hopefully get my birth cert translated if not I have to depend on a law firm and pray that the philippines (how do you spell that place) UK embassy love me plspls and hurry up with my application because my flight costed $2k+ and I don't wanna shell out for another ticket cause parents will be pissed due to my last minute preparation of visa but how do I know it will get rejected right?

*breathes*

Okay. It's going to be okay. hopefully =(

ANGRY

2010-09-07T20:12:00.001+08:00

Yeah this is probably going to be offensive to SOME malays (if you are lazy and slack during puasa and use it as your goddamn excuse for one goddamn month to be a fucking sloth).

Today was a very 不顺 day. Firstly, my visa was rejected. Reason being: my birth cert was in malay and they couldn't understand it (they had to send it to manila I think).

WTF. It's an official document. Malaysia is a MALAY country, what do you want our birth cert to be?! in multi-languages? Okay, fine, so I was told I have to get it translated, so OFF I GO TO THE COURT AT 10pm.

Since it's puasa and all, they close at 2pm.. but when I reached at 10pm, the ONE AND ONLY translator was MISSING. Nobody knew where she is, and stated that she will be back later.(she picked her daughter or something, during WORKING HOUR). FINE.

Returned there at 12pm, and still, she is NOT there. Okay then, maybe she's busy.

... at 1:30pm, SHE IS STILL NOT THERE. Apparently, the bitch never came back. So I asked the counter girl to drop my cert off at her office and tell her to do it first thing tomorrow because I need it urgently for my visa, but NO, she gave all sorts of excuses about how the office is locked, she doesn't know if the translator will see it, it will get stolen, and what nots.

So fine, I told her to make a copy of it and slip it under the door, BUT NOOOOO, she said, "oh, we don't have a PUBLIC photocopy machine here and you have to go to the other building (magistrate courts)."

So I walked all the way there to find it closed, and when I came back, counter girl said, OH, just come back tomorrow, the translator will be there.

When I asked her the DEFINITE time that the translator will be around, she told me, "I have no idea (she used this line like almost x10 already at this point from previous conversation), the court is open at 8, but she might come at 10pm/11pm, who knows, you know lah, it's RAMADAN."

WAH. At this point, I really wanted to slap her. Yeah I know it's not her fault whatever but how can a government place have such unprofessional behavior?!?!!! I very free is it go find you so many times a day?!

I am so angry with their fucked up work attitude. Leaving for personal reasons during work hours?! (8am-2pm, puasa time), and COMING IN LATE FOR WORK, reason being it is puasa. Yeah, I know I'm supposed to understand your pain of not eating/drinking, BUT WHO IS THERE TO UNDERSTAND ME IF MY VISA ISN'T DONE BEFORE I AM DUE TO TRAVEL?!

Fucking hell. I don't think puasa is an excuse AT ALL. SO RILED UP ABOUT THIS. FUCKING INEFFICIENT AND LAZY PEOPLE IS KILLING ME. PUASA? PUA LANJIAO LAH.

ARGHRGHRGHRGRRR

2010-09-06T18:18:00.000+08:00

Went to do a medical check up today. Had to get a form from MOE (which I had no idea on how to go and had to follow Shuyee's car). ZZZZ. So rushing =(

Hopefully everything will be done and ready. I had to .. do a blood test, urine test (which I will have to go back tomorrow for because I couldn't pee *shy* :$ ) and X-ray (which was closed so I have to go back tomorrow).

Then. I had a Mantoux test. The nurse kinda sucked. She jabbed me like TWICE because she couldn't get the stupid liquid UNDER my skin. :(

Blood test also a bit wtf, cause my blood stopped flowing at test tube 3, so she had to fill ANOTHER tube. WAHHH. Costs bloody a lot again. zzz.

Anyway. Writing up my list of what-to-buys so I can buy it all in Miri tomorrow YAY. Okay, END of my day!

Randoms

2010-09-03T11:38:00.000+08:00

Don't know why my pics turn out looking dull and ugly, but here's a pink wall decorated by ME. (bought wall stickers for only $7 so cheap wtf and stuck it on my wall <3)

Finished this book yay.. and.. there goes the book prepared for in flight reading. zzz

Cute rabbit like thingys from moses. and.. I need to buy a luggage bag.

Headache

2010-08-29T12:47:00.001+08:00

Panicking to finish off my documents so my visa will be done before I am due to fly. I really should have prepared earlier, but for some reason, I can't. Because I'm lazy. Because I think that there's still time, and that I will always be lucky enough to just make it in time.

I tend to do things at the very last minute, and do the pointless stuff first. Like... actually no, I haven't done ANYTHING at all.. except maybe like buying 4 bottles of contact solutions. -_-

... counting down two weeks, I haven't packed.. or even booked my airport service + orientation. I promise to be a more organized person starting next month.. and to always attend lectures and tutorials.

Anyway, it's raining really heavily outside.. so.. some photos(ripped from fb for our 40% attendance 5s2 reunion):

TRALALALALALLLALALALALALALAAAAA

2010-08-25T23:36:00.001+08:00

Rushing to do my visa and whatnot now. I never knew leaving the country for studies will be so full of hassle.. and I haven't even started to pack.

What clothes to bring?! and shoes? will my moisturizer be moist enough, and what not?!

I have so many complaints and uncertainties. T_T

Firstly, is the 8 hour long transit in singapore. What the heck am I gonna do for 8 hours?! I would gladly go to the gym/pool in the airport, and of course there's showering facilities available, but.. what about my sweaty smelly clothes?!

Then.... comes the 15 hour long flight to manchester. WOAH. 15 hours of pure nothingness. Yay me.

Next. My application for en suite accommodation failed me. I now have to share a bathroom with 7 others. Of course that's not a HUGE issue, but it isn't exactly desirable. Woe is me. WOE IS ME.

Moving on.. I know I chose to go to a self-catered hall, but I honestly... can barely cook. Well.. I can cook rice now.. and like.. fry eggs.. and boil things to make a salad. I don't know what I'm going to be eating the whole 9 months.

Family coming to see me in December, and I fear my parents will complain on how unorganized my room is. HEHEHEHEHE. and my out of control shopping impulses will bankrupt me. How lah how lah how

The purpose of this blog post is actually to complain about childish little things which bothers me. HEHEHEHE. Okay. End.

(referring to above pictures) Woah I hate myself for cutting my hair now. ZZZZZZZ.

Cheats

2010-08-22T22:52:00.001+08:00

Just had a semi serious talk over dinner, about cheating.

If you're a guy, and you found out that your gf had like a lesbo partner (one night stand), will you mind? The answer I got is no.

But, if it's a guy instead of another girl, the bf will mind right? Why? I cannot really comprehend it.

I mean, both ways also cheating what, so why does the word 'cheating' not register in the bf's head when the situation involves another girl?

Is it because of the usual media message that lesbos are porny and sexy and thus not considered as cheating? :/

Kimchi

2010-08-21T12:03:00.002+08:00

Just dropped a comment on this food blog for kimchi's buffet promotion.

I have been a fan of kimchi ever since it opened, but this year, just a few days ago, when I paid a visit to kimchi again for the sungkai promotion, I was really disappointed.

First off, the service this year just wasn't as good as last year. When we ordered rice for two, only one came. The seafood pancake came without the sauce.

Nobody was there to grill for us, but that can be acceptable because maybe the restaurant's busy.

We then proceeded to eating, and halfway eating, our chicken bulbogi, upon closer inspection, had a BUG in it. ONE SMALL BUG.

It may be small, but it was enough to make us lose our appetite. When I brought it to the attention of the waitress, she of course did apologize and such, but when paying, she offered no discount or any such thing.

When I asked, she gave me a 10% discount card for the next visit. This is no way to handle a very important HEALTH and CLEANLINESS issue for a restaurant, but since it's Brunei, I cannot expect anything else, really.

Well, this happened a few days ago. Just forgot to blog about it. Disappointed disappointed disappointed. If this wasn't Brunei, the chef would probably apologize, and make some sort of gesture to show us his apology.

When I asked the waitress (when paying la), "so do we get a discount or anything?", she proceeded to rattle off the discounts for credit cards, so I had to cut in with a "err, we found a BUG in our food?". and ended up with a 10% discount for the next visit.

Really, you think I'll go back?

It's a shame though that their staff just isn't trained to handle these stuff. Their food was pretty good too, well I liked it a lot.

Maybe it's true..

2010-08-20T23:24:00.002+08:00

I really enjoyed my experience at pusat ehsan. I feel like it helped me to learn quite a lot of new stuff, seriously, and it filled up my days.. well.. 3 weeks anyway. However, starting tomorrow, no more work. :(

It feels sort of weird not having to wake up early to go to work.. so now.. I can officially start watching gossip girl. Yep. I know I suck because I don't watch any angmoh series except like CSI and Friends....

... and I stop watching HK series because PPS died on me. Yep yep. But all this is about to change! :D

Anyway. Vain pics for sophia's IA salon. HEHE. It was fun vain-ing with someone professional taking pics for wannabe us :P One or two per post so I don't kill you HEHE.

This is for lovers holding hands in the car~ (8)

2010-08-19T18:13:00.001+08:00

I have gone mad. Yep. I cut my hair, this short, and I am regretting. You think the front is bad, wait till you see the back.

I now look like I age 28/14 depending on personal views. YEP. Life is so awesome.

... but I am happy.. because.. I GOT MY RESULTS TODAY.. and I am officially holding an unconditional offer now, YAY :D

Happy birthday dear brother T_T

2010-08-14T20:13:00.000+08:00

Bought a cake today from Patisserie. This one. Longan and soybean. I don't know why, but it is totally tasteless.

My parents think that they forgot to add the sugar in, and cut a huge slice to make me bring it there to complain tomorrow. T_____T

So embarrassing okay fml. Their theory is that if we don't complain, other customers will get crap cakes and that wouldn't be fair.

I argued that they might say that the cake just tastes like that. My mom very smartly say, well, in that case, you can tell them how you can do free publicity by helping them facebook their tasteless cake. FML OKAY.

Dilemma. Claimed that I will make sim do the complaining, and dad said, well, I don't care how you do it, but you're gonna complain lor.

FML.

Fried kailan

2010-08-14T10:50:00.000+08:00

I don't know why but fat keeps on piling and piling onto my face. ARGH. I have NO jawline already lor. :(

4 days till results come out. I am scared. :(

My tummy is getting .. round-ish. It's making me insecure. Pools are closed for puasa, and opens at 9~10pm. No way am I swimming at that hour, during the ghost festival.

.. and $50 for x10 at JPMC is quite expensive lor :( Dilemma. $ or fats?

=D

2010-08-13T14:41:00.001+08:00

love sim so much =)

Red, I see red.

2010-08-12T19:25:00.000+08:00

Random things that I get annoyed at:

Seeing an opened and UNFINISHED bottle of red wine lying around the house(usually my parents). I get a bit pissed off when I see half finished red wine and nobody sitting there in front of it drinking it -_- So weird right?

People who don't fucking pay. There are always those people, who is sibeh reluctant to pay for their own stuff even though you have nothing to do with it. It's like at a dinner, I am EXPECTED to pay because I have you for my company. Annoying as hell.

Sometimes, my brain wants to exercise, but when I am in jogging clothes and the park, I feel 脚软手软，全身都软软的 -_- It's so weird, not enough will power :( ! I will end up walking.

People updating statuses on facebook every 15minutes. holy shit. Get a life and stop telling everyone how emo/angry/happy/bored you are. Take a shit and take a nap.

hardcore twilight fans :P

Haih, very angsty today. I will meditate my anger away. Ohmmmmmmm.

Work resumes tomorrow. Early night to sleep again. YUM. On a brighter note, I had american breakfast this morning. Breakfast is now officially my fav meal of the day (provided I wake up in time for it!) :D

Random pictures

2010-08-09T17:13:00.000+08:00

Meet my baby boys Timon and pumba

.. and meet my sister

Hmm.....

2010-08-08T18:59:00.003+08:00

Saw a very nice corset top which I wanna buy... but would never wear.

Result is coming out in 10 days.. and if all goes well, I will fly away in 36days.

Mom is pressuring me to buy stuff and prepare my stuff, but what if I don't get into uni :(

Meanwhile, dad is pressuring my bro to study where I do. HAHA. fuck our lives.

Can anyone tell me what should I bring there anyway? (that is, IF I get in T_______T, I promise to study hard if I get in!)

Also, if I am due to arrive at 8am 14sept, is that Brunei time or UK time T___________T Booking for the airport collection service is troublesome as shit.

Water

2010-08-05T19:06:00.000+08:00

Was swimming when I remembered something from my primary years. :)

This girl used to have parties every year, and she would invite us. It will always be a pool party. Anyway, the first year, I couldn't swim, and I was damn sad seeing everyone swimming and having fun.

So, I went to learn swimming and all that and one year later, I could swim and join in! Anyway, some of my classmates had a race, and I got like the last or something.

-_-

Yeah, that's what I remembered because I was swimming slowly behind hung. I am weird like that =/

Anyway, I am getting quite riled up over little things. Like this video of two senior boys bullying a little junior from CHMS.

... and hearing how the narcotics went to sas/chms to catch drug users and actually coming out catching people. WTF. I don't remember things like that happening before. What has the world become?

Days of my life :P

2010-08-04T16:32:00.000+08:00

Been an old woman lately. I need at least 8 hours of sleep or else I'll feel tired, so it is 11pm everyday! Sleeping early and waking up early, even forced myself to exercise yesterday because I was getting fatter. (pls don't give me shit because I said fatTER and not FAT)

Started volunteering on Monday, and I gotta say my days feel quite productive. At least I know what I have to do everyday instead of waking up to nothing. HEEEEEE.

Wasn't very happy the first day cause I thought one of the teacher was mean to the students while her attitude completely changed the second day, when we had visitors. Luckily her attitude was a lot better. Maybe it's a random PMS day.

Anyway, pics over the past couple of days! A few unedited studio pics with family, some of the pusat ehsan students I help teach playing in the music room/drama room.

computer is suddenly slow. Upload next time. -_-

.. and big girls don't cry.

2010-08-02T08:04:00.002+08:00

Haven't woken up this early in a long time. Mmmm. Pretty skies.

Woke up to feed my hamsters because they consume food so fast wtf. Anyway...

Sunflowers are really pretty.

Expensive entertainment ;)

2010-08-01T13:58:00.001+08:00

Have you ever seen some chinese who actually knows how to speak mandarin but pretends not to know? Or pretends to have like cacat chinese. -_-" Of course there are some that really don't know la, so it's not them I'm talking about.

Anyway, I have. They actually know mandarin one, not writing or anything, but they can SPEAK it. The weird thing is, when non-chinese speakers speak to them, they will like suddenly have very bad mandarin.

I've even met two that claims not to know chinese when in actual fact I've seen them talk to their parents in mandarin. What liars.

The bad mandarin will also be spoken with this slang. So annoying man. Please be proud that you are given an opportunity to know and learn another language. What is there to be ashamed of, seriously?

Anyway, cute hamster to calm me down:

This could be timon. Or pumba. But I'll prefer it to be pumba. cause the name's cuter. HEHEHEHHE. They are now rolling around sleeping. WAH. So cute :')

Hamsters

2010-07-31T23:37:00.000+08:00

Guess what I got todayyyyyy! TIMON AND PUMBA ! Now I have kids. HEHEHHEEHEHE.

WAH. they are like babies but soooo damn active. Was gonna get a rabbit, but then realized how boring they are. They totally just lie still and do nothing lor.. and the one in the pet shop was fat.. and big and not white.

ANYWAY. They are so cute. I hope I don't get bored of them that soon. *shy*

:S

2010-07-30T13:48:00.001+08:00

I really wanna go to some island-y places suddenly. Like, just the beach and the sun and me. And a big fat bill for it afterwards. Sigh.

I have a irrational fear of being left alone. I mean, I don't need a lot of friends and acquaintances, just one or two dear to heart is good enough. Heck, one friend makes all the difference. It is the wall between alone, and not alone.

Some people can do everything solo and still hold their head high, and I admire them for it, but I know, deep down, I will never be able to do that.. because I fear. I fear that I will not break down inside because loneliness cannot easily be cured.

It's like, if you have a good book, you can of course occupy your mind with it and push that feeling aside, but when you're finished and about to go to sleep, the feeling slowly finds it's way into your tunnel of thoughts and invade you when you're at your weakest.

I know I am rambling on and not really making sense but hey, I am allowed to type nonsense here, right? I am feeling very confused. I miss knowing what I have to do each day when I wake up.

Sunflowers

2010-07-27T12:39:00.000+08:00

Just saw some pics of girls using make up + glasses. For some reason, I don't feel comfortable doing that. Like, it makes me feel weird and such. Glasses for me is a home affair because I look terrible in them. *shy*

Anyway, eyeliner/foundation/all that beneath the glasses feels a little heavy for me. I wonder if it is just me?

Anyway, pictures, because someone took pictures (and bothered to upload it, all ripped from facebook).

Elaine is missing, but I die die also want her face up there. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

Brunei is awesome because...

2010-07-26T19:35:00.000+08:00

You get super pretty nails for only $10.

Your love is my drug

2010-07-26T14:09:00.000+08:00

That concludes singapore. Back to Brunei, to see my favourite peoples in the world HEHEHEHEHE!

Waiting for results now to see if I meet my conditional offer. The waiting game sucks =(

I just want to know NOW if I get in, or NOT. If not, woe is me, I have no idea what I'll do because my insurance offer is needing the exact same requirement as my firm offer!

Anyway, seeing/eating the food people bake makes me really envious of them somehow. Like, they can somehow just mix and stir some ingredients and make awesome food.

I can't even make half decent food even if I tried, so I give up trying. But I really wanna be able to bake/cook properly and nicely, or my future kids are just gonna be sad and have a mommy who doesn't bake cookies.

Anyway, Brunei = rummy/eat/sleep/DVD/repeat

YAY!

2010-07-23T00:06:00.001+08:00

I LOVE THEME PARKS! :D But the weather was a bit terrible in the beginning. Drizzly, but it got better afterwards. ANYWAY. Theme parks make me excited! I love it that there's music everywhere, and it feels like you're in some place magical and nice!

UNIVERSAL STUDIO TICKETS YAY!

my feet. Slippers cause I couldn't be arsed to bring sneakers -_- taken during some queue

It was kinda small, but I liked the attractions so much better than HK disney land. It's a lot more interesting and the queues a lot less long. It was almost like queue max 15mins. Very awesome.

It's got Hollywood, madagascar, egypt, the lost kingdom ( JURASSIC PARK!!!) , sci fi, new york, and far far away (shreeeeeekkkkk)!

I liked egpyt the best! and maybe new york cause it's so pretty. I saw betty boop, but she was such a bitch. She was rushing somewhere and refused to take a pic with me. Whatever. Go die. Your boobs aren't that big anyway.

Madagascar wasn't done and this exciting looking roller coaster was down. -_- But still awesome. Because anywhere with themes, music, and pretty toilets called waterhouses is nice! :D

Universal studio merchandise is not that nice though. Totally unlike disneyland or everland whatever. Hmm, I wonder if Jerudong park had a merchandise store?

Anyway, SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP TIMEEE!

My adventure

2010-07-21T02:07:00.000+08:00

The scariest thing happened just now. I lost my wallet. !@#!@#!^#%

Anyway. It is like this. Went pubbing just now, and kept my bag + wallet (outside of bag cause I just paid) inside the locker. So when I left, I took the bag, and NOT MY WALLET.

So I got in a cab and went home. Upon reaching, I searched and searched for my wallet, and realize, holy shit, it's NOT there. So I panicked, told my friend to come down, give me money, and cabbed back to the pub.

( called Sam for help, got the pub's number but nobody answered fml :( )

Anyway, got back in a panicky mood, found my wallet, thank goodness, with all cash inside, intact. I was so relieved I almost cried okay! :')

Lost like $50 of cab fare, but better $50 than more right?

This should teach me to be less careless, sigh!

hi from 2 hours away!

2010-07-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

Am in the sunny singapore right now with my partner in crime!

ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I miss... my maid :$ and my baby =(. Odd combination, I know.

I AM SUPERMAN!

2010-07-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

I'm super broke recently OHMAN :(

Petrol costs so much okay. It's like sucking me dry. $30 everytime I pump petrol. It is depressing. DEPRESSING I TELL YOU. I know petrol is super cheap in Brunei, but is sucking me dry.

I mean, of course I get the cash from my parents, but asking for more money to use + asking for petrol feels like a lot. =/

Going to finally FINALLY colour my hair to a darker color tomorrow, and doing that steam I desperately need because my hair texture is like dry grass fml T_T. and maybe if I am super hiao I will do my nails again ohYAY :D

Anyway, I have gotten into all kind of situations since driving, but my parents still refused to buy me a sensor. Like tell me when I'm about to hit something, or things like that.

On the bright side, my car's skin (what do you call the metal covering anyway?) is pretty hard, so even if I get hit, I will be safe. OH OH. And I sure as hell hopes the airbag works. Must prepare for the worst right? :D

ANYWAY :

A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy and his owner beats him!

LOLOLOLOLOLOL. end.

Holiday

2010-07-13T12:59:00.000+08:00

I've put on 3kgs ever since summer starts because all I do is eat, eat and eat. I had fries for like five consecutive days or something, I swear.

.. and I totally stop exercising and eat before I sleep. T_T. This will not do. I will force myself to jog today. Gah. But jogging's so boring =(

Anyway, Brunei is SO boring. I am dying of boredom, fuck this shit. I kinda wish things take longer to do because I have nothing to do. Like I hope manicures take like two hours. and exercising half hour = 3 hours.

Something like that, because I otherwise will have nothing to fill my time, except watching dvds, which I do in excess nowadays anyway.

Cleaned up my table, which has got sooooooooooooooo many papers. Played monopoly, and basically limteh-ed every single day till elaine and chien left for KL :(

I also happened to spend like an hour fixing this IQ puzzle thing. I fail.

Yes, I am this bored =(

追远

2010-07-09T10:35:00.001+08:00

Everybody knows that Chinese people are the ancestor of Korean and Japanese people right, that's why our language is slightly similar ( Kanji ) and we share similar cultures.

Anyway, kpop somehow has accumulated a lot of fans all over world all converting themselves into koreans wtf!

But some people so over man. They take it so far as to telling people, oh I'm not CHINESE, I'm KOREAN. What with their obsession over their music (more like singers), learning the language, dressing like them and what not. I recently read a blog of this chick, who is obsessed with korean stuff.

To be honest, there's nothing wrong liking their music, wanting to learn another language, following another country's fashion, admiring a culture and all the sorts, the annoying comes when they say THIS : " I wish I was KOREAN/JAPANESE "

wtf. I get very annoyed. I mean, what's WRONG with being Chinese? Is it disgraceful because China was a communist country? Even worse are some people who openly declare that they are Korean because "I have small eyes!" or "I dress like them" or "I can speak a few lines of Korean here and there" . OMFG.

Fucking losers man. Just because the stereotypical koreans have small eyes does not mean the same for the whole nation okay? The tv stereotypes asians (includes vietnamese, chinese, koreans, japanese, hongkies, whatever la) is also portrayed to have small eyes what. So why can't you claim to be a vietnamese instead of korean?

Linguistic professors of say, German descent, learning French cultures and the language wouldn't claim to be French, WOULD HE? so why would people want to claim NOT to be Chinese and be the closest (or only) thing they can pass off as?

In what way are Koreans superior to us? I'm not saying they're not good or anything, they are, they have a culture that's theirs, a good economy and everything else. BUT, you probably don't catch Koreans saying "oh I wish I'm Chinese", Do they? That's because they have PRIDE in their nationality and being KOREAN.

Why can't Chinese people have the same pride? I'm not saying ALL Chinese don't, a lot does, from what I've seen in the olympics. I've known people from china and from outside china who's really proud of being chinese, but there are a small minority that doesn't. Their endless complains of " oh why aren't my parents Korean " pisses the hell out of me.

Same goes for those who have like about a mini amount of caucasian blood in them, exaggerating it until they are properly eurasian like that. It is 2010, and the world no longer 崇洋, so what are you going on and on about, even IF you have like 10% of their blood flow in you?

I'm just annoyed by people who don't appreciate their descent and culture. Please don't try to be something you're not, because more likely than not, people are gonna see through what you are, and laugh at you.

There's nothing wrong admiring something you're not, just don't overdo it and try to make yourself it. No amount of will power and determination can change what you are.

NOOOOO

2010-07-03T12:33:00.000+08:00

With a two and a half month stretch of summer ahead of me with nothing to worry about (except for results), I am struggling to fill my days.

I never thought I'll say this, but it's the second day of summer, and I'm BORED. I can't possibly go out everyday wtf I will go broke. =(

Mmmmmmmm. What should I do today?

This feeling actually sucks quite a lot. I feel very unproductive, and most of my friends are leaving (read: elaine, chien, soph)

YEAH LEAVE. Leave me to rot in Brunei. :'(

Life just isn't fair like that. I'm gonna rot here without all of you.

Rant over. zzzzzzzzz

:D

2010-06-30T17:59:00.000+08:00

考完试了！我很 kawaii 的哦 ^^V

WTF

2010-06-29T12:48:00.000+08:00

I am mildly amused but pissed off at this chick. I will story now.

Okay, Jane showed me the blog of this MD girl recently, who is like crushing on my ex. She likes him to the extent of posting his pictures online but whatever lah, doesn't really matter, cause it's none of my business right?

THEN, today, I saw MY PICTURE on her blog. With a paragraph about me, saying how I told her to "stop stalking my ex".

So I checked her tagboard lah, and there, I saw:

[ wenyie: Stop stalking my ex!! ]

VERY WTF OKAY. I never posted such a thing. 冤枉啊！

都说是我的ex了我还管什么？-.- Use your brains lor. Wah damn hate this man. -.- Breach of privacy okay!! She fucking copied my pic and pasted it on her blog without my permission.

!@#!@#^&!%&@#&!#

P/S: LAST TEST TODAY SO EXCITED YAY HI SUMMER HI SUMMER :D

wimgardion levioooosssaaaa. (something like that :D)

2010-06-28T20:00:00.001+08:00

Yeah I know all the rage is about twilight now but to be honest I think Harry potter is so much better. Twilight is overrated and not as cool as harry potter! Magic VS sparkling vampires? HAHAHAHAA :D

Just in case you're wondering, Jane said she was gonna read HP fan fiction again.

Even though the whole saga finished like ages ago... I am not satisfied lor! I always thought that somehow Draco will end up with Hermione!!

The appeal is totally there. Maybe it's just me reading too much fan fiction. I remember like during the form 5 or form3 (one of those) holidays, I had nothing to do, so I went to read fan fiction. As in, continuation or short stories about harry potter written by fans. Day and night I will read them okay! :D

Among the pairings, I always go for Hermione/Draco lor! I THINK THEY WILL BE SO AWESOME TOGETHER. Ron is boring -_-"

thank god Harry is with Ginny. OH MAN. I hate Cho so much. HAHAHA :D

One more exam tomorrow! THE VERY LAST! *throws confetti* And I am not studying *shy*. Totally going to go out in a while. I am terrible.

But I wish J.K.Rowling will come up with another book. Like. Maybe about everyone's kids :D If such a thing happens, I hope draco marries Luna or something. Luna's cute.

Anyway. Twilight is actually okay, but then HP wins it any day. HP's got plot! Twilight is just silly infatuation and sparkly vampires (No I am not over that!).

Curry

2010-06-28T12:08:00.001+08:00

I'm going to talk about curry because I just had curry for lunch. Also, I am avoiding studying for chem5 later, so excuse = talk about curry! :D

I love curry. Chinese curry, indian curry, and Japanese curry also I like (sweet one with carrots and potatoes).

Chinese curry confirm is thiam hock BEST. :D (google-ed all the pics)

I super like eating curry with okra. I also don't know why. But I find eggplants kinda disgusting.

ANYWAY. The best thing to eat with curry is.. bread. as in toasted French baguette. The one at patisserie is super nice.

I think I can prepare Japanese curry next time because I can buy the pre-made sauce. Awesome. I will never succeed in cooking anything with more than 5 ingredients anyway. Or if the preparation time is more than like 10 minutes.

And the roti kosong + whatever curry at berakas is super nice. I think it's called house of curry.

Yeah I know it doesn't show curry but whatever. Chien brought me there to eat the first time, and ever since, the girls have always eaten there. HAHAHA :D The roti kosong is very niceeeee!

Maybe someday I will try to make curry! Or.... I can give up and tapao. I think I am living near this "curry mile" area. OH MAN. It apparently has lots of curry take-outs. AWESOME.

Okay. I guess I should try to at least study now.

driving sucks.

2010-06-27T12:36:00.000+08:00

Went driving today with dad. Did some parallel parkings + normal parkings, and ventured onto the roundabout like 8 times.

I can safely conclude that I HATE driving. I don't even understand how people can LIKE that thing. It's like the most stressful thing ever.

Then my leg was so tired, and the seat was already pushed to the max front, and I still can't step on the brake properly, so I think I need a pillow in the car *shy*.

I hate driving so much man. The sun on my hand is insane. And I got horned. Like 4 times. 3 times on the roundabout. I HATE IT LOR. Why can't people be nice and understand that it's my first time driving? It's not like I wanna drive slowly on purpose :(

The horns only made me nervous and almost crash nia. !@#&!^%@&#!

GOD. I hate driving. ohmmm. Why can't Brunei have a MRT anyway :( At least learning to read the routes will be easier. le sigh.

My parents were like laughing at me during lunch cause I was the one who wanted to drive. After today, I declared that I hated driving, and they said I am super hiao because I was the one who wanted to drive. -_-

Proof that I have my own of car keys now!

Go Go power rangeerrrr !

2010-06-26T13:56:00.000+08:00

Only two more exams, and it's SUMMER! It already actually feels like summer because I'm not really studying. Why am I so lazy :(

If I don't get into uni, I will regret this for the rest of my life ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Anyway, I already have my malaysian driving license from a year ago, and I am 18 already, so by right I can drive legally in Brunei right?

My mom doesn't think so. She's like doing everything to 拖延 me driving :(

When I first got my license, she said, wait till you're 18 lah. Okay lor, I wait.

Now that I'm 18, she say, no car leh, wait till got car, then okay. Okay, 我等。

Now that we have an extra car, she said, you got exam, stress leh, wait until u finish lor. Okayyyyy....

So yesterday after my exams, she said, but it's night time leh, and papa drink already, cannot sit beside you.

WAHHHHH :( My mom really doesn't want me to drive.

I turn 18!

2010-06-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

I turn 18 today!! It's like the difference of a day, but 17 and 18 feels like a big gap. (maybe it's just me!)

Had father's day/birthday lunch today. My uncle ( dad's elder bro ) and niece has the same birthday as me okay! No joke. Natural birth. It's so weird huh! 3 of us in the same family have the same birthdays which coincides with father's day once in every few years!

Everyone looks kinda dodgy. HEHEHEHEHE :D

Anyway, Soph, I stole the few pics that we took off your camera :P because my blog is so picture-less, I am going to post up the few pics!

Thank you to everyone who greeted me and made my birthday special. HEHE :D Especially the girls (MIA : chien) and sim! YAY. I am a happy and old girl now!

Graduation trip?

2010-06-17T13:44:00.001+08:00

14 more days until exams finish!! So my class planned a graduation trip to KL which I'm not going because I don't get along with my classmates fantastically. I mean.. it's like we're almost from different planets.

Anyway, I still insist on going for a graduation trip, because it will be like my last tropical trip in a long time! .... to which I haven't asked my parents yet... and which isn't even confirmed yet, but that's not the point.

THE POINT IS... we can't decide on a place. WTF. Thailand is claimed to be too dangerous. Langkawi will be a too short stay. I really want to go to ha er bing (no idea what it is in english but it's cold and in china and all icy!) or HK plsplspls. Sucks sucks sucks. Please let it happen!

news alert: I'm going to be able to hit the roads in no less than 3 weeks! HOLY SHIT! I am going to drive!!!!!!!!!!! After holding my malaysian license for ONE WHOLE YEAR, my mom FINALLY agreed to let me drive. (maybe it's cause i'm already legal but whatever) EXCITED.

Honey on toast

2010-06-15T23:53:00.000+08:00

M1 was the most horrible paper ever.. and PHY4 isn't even here yet.

I seriously hate physics a lot :( I wish I took art subjects like history and geography. And like appreciating fine arts or something like that.

I hate science subjects. *gloom*

Listen to your man

2010-06-14T01:21:00.000+08:00

Hi baby, what's your name?

my education

2010-06-12T15:20:00.000+08:00

Studying is shit. I absolutely hate it. I wish education didn't matter. I might gladly settle for a job that doesn't require education, who knows?

Who is to say that I will find a job even if I complete my degree? I am but 18, isn't that a bit too young to be making choices? I don't know what I want in life.

I don't even fucking know what degree I want, so, of course, I picked one out that will make my parents happy. At least I want them to be, since I have no idea what I want to do anyway.

To be honest, there are little inklings of what I want here and there, and what I want changes from time to time. When I was really young, I wanted to be a scientist. I grew up soon after, realizing that nobody just becomes "scientists".

Then, I loved drawing, so I wanted to be an architect/interior designer. I guess this part is sort of influenced by my dad's business. My mom however hated the idea of that because she said that architect is a guy's job and that the field is quite sexist.

For a brief period, I considered being a psychologist (or pursuing the degree lah whatever), which was again put down because apparently, "psychologists go mad". I know. I know. Baseless, but if my parents don't really like it, they won't be there to back me up if I fuck up my degree. It would be a i-told-you-so situation which I refuse to face.

So now, after my A'levels are over, provided I get the grades, I will be studying law in the UK. Exactly what my dad wanted, what my grandpa would like, what my mom prefers. No guarantee that I'll make it through the course, but let's hope for the best.

My mom would've quite like it if I took up music. She is forever asking me why I don't want to continue to take piano diploma. -_-" She doesn't see the hours of practice time as interference to study time (or in my case, go out and play time). I really cannot take up music because the interest as a life long career just isn't there.

Strangely, I've never felt any inclination to study medicine. I hated biology as a form4/5 student, and I KNEW that I will never be a doctor. Firstly, the degree is like impossible to obtain because it takes like super long, and a lot of motivation and determination to complete. The difficulty is a put off factor. Secondly, after you graduate, the work hours of a newbie doctor is just insane.

I hate education so much. Why must people be judged by a piece of paper anyway? Who is to say a phD graduate is wiser than an old man who never went to university? What about experience? Is knowledge all that matters now? Knowledge and wisdom is strangely connected, yet totally different at the same time, but somehow, a lot of people think that knowledge IS wisdom, and that is a total lie.

Sigh. I will be going back to physics right now. swwoooooop.

A little too not over you

2010-06-11T16:00:00.000+08:00

对我而言，人与人之间的信任是种幻觉，根本不存在的。最近发生太多事情，就连这个幻觉都渐渐消失了。很可悲吧？

没有信任的友谊又算是什么呢？我好想念那种没有防备的友谊，那种什么都不必去理会，只要做自己的感觉。

有人告诉过我，当一个人做回她真正的自己的时候，就是她最美丽的时候。但是，人心的丑陋一点也不美。

为了融进社交圈里，对我而言，每个人都会戴上面具，掩饰我们不想让别人看到的一切。交到朋友后，我们也理所当然的会慢慢脱下伪装。在这个时候，真正的朋友会接受你的不完美。

我害怕，当我脱下面具时，我不会被接受。所以，我做不到。我还是选择把丑陋的一面留给自己。

我觉得我的部落各好像含有太多文字了。也许是我罗嗦吧，但是我好像比较善于用文字表达一切。怎么办?

其实，我好担心考试。。但是不知道要告诉谁。我最不喜欢的就是当我说我担心的时候，人家说，“你那么聪明，担心什么？”

就应为我以前的成绩不错，不代表以后也会一样。好了。好像说了太多了。拜拜。

=(

2010-06-11T14:36:00.000+08:00

Life sucks so much.

First my computer GG, and now my phone. I don't know why electronics always die at my hands. -_-

On the bright side, laptop's coming back with new phone at 6pm. Meaning... I can't go out before 6pm. AWESOME -_-

完美并不美

2010-06-09T17:59:00.000+08:00

Just ate a whole large packet of chipsters. Haven't had junk food in quite a long time. I blame my binge on the math exam tonight. I feel the pimples coming at me.

I fell down today. In my room. Barefoot. I don't even need heels to trip me, fml.

Apparently I sat cross-legged too long, and when I got up, one side my calf was like 麻痹. (numb?) I thought I could walk, but I guess not. I fell down after like two steps. Then I picked myself up, and fell down again. That was very wtf.

My leg really couldn't feel anything at all for a minute or two. Little glimpse of how it is like to be paralyzed?

Anyway, here is a list of things I need to do after my exams.

facial (fucking loads of blackheads now)
colour treatment (ugly roots)
rebonding (to kill off curls that will be hard to take care)
mani + pedi (need, NEED. fuck my ugly nails

Mmmm. Can't wait for the hours of boredom and pain, even after my exams.

Fried chicken.

2010-06-08T19:20:00.000+08:00

To be honest, I'm glad that my parents have a social life. Like, they will get together with their friends and stuff. But sometimes, it will be nice if they're there, you know.

Parents totally ppk-ed us for dinner for a business dinner tonight. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it gets disappointing sometimes, especially for occasions, tonight being my sister's birthday. ( I think I am more upset than her *shy* )

My parents have never attended any of my graduations or recitals, or even performances, the reason being they're busy. I've grown very used to it, that's why I'm there for my siblings.

Just sometimes, I would like them to be there, take some time off work and attend the milestones in my life. Probably the only graduation they'll be attending next is my university graduation. (IF I graduate)

The price they pay to shower us with material things. Well, not really price, since they both enjoy business engagements and work in general. Hmmm.

Apples and cinnamon.

2010-06-08T17:57:00.000+08:00

Jogged around the neighbourhood for 20 minutes with my baby brother. I haven't been exercising in a while, but I've been eating out a lot.

Going out to have indian food tonight. Mmm. 20 minutes doesn't even begin to justify one meal, fml.

If I can be so slack and lazy in Brunei, it makes me wonder what it'll take for me to get up in the morning ( or at dusk anyway ) to jog next time.

I'm definitely worried about putting on weight. Speaking of which, I had super awesome breakfast with the girls today when we were supposed to be swimming.

We do extremes, either we lose weight together, or get fat together. I like the together-ness.

Was supposed to do some math today, which I will do, after dinner. Spent the afternoon finishing up a novel.

Exam period right now, and everybody is so stressed out. I freak out at all the wrong times, i.e.in the exam hall when it's too late to do anything anyway.

Sometimes when I get the paper, I just laugh. Like a bitter laugh. Like, holy, this paper's so difficult.. nothing's gonna save me now. I sometimes find myself a little weird, this being an understatement.

Well..this week is pretty much chill week, next week, and next next week is gonna be pure shittiness. I can feel it.

Countdown of 21 days.

CHEM2 & ECONS2

2010-06-07T11:27:00.000+08:00

My first exam at 4pm!! To be honest, I am not that nervous for this one, because it's a resit, and I've kinda went through the book and revised.

So... fingers crossed for me to finish this month, alive. 20 days until liberation! By the way, is it liberation, or liberalisation? -_-

I cannot be bothered to check it up online/on the dictionary because I've got exams as an excuse. muahahahahhaa.

I've been snacking on raisins because dad commented on how much weight I've gained, and how much rounded my face got. -_-

Okay, boom. I'm going to go back to reading some notes and preparing mentally for my last few exams! :D

NOOOO...

2010-06-05T13:01:00.000+08:00

Fucking awesome lah, my windows files somehow got corrupted. So now, I cannot use anything adobe, and everything apple. ( safari, itunes and quicktime)

The best part is that all my pastpapers and answers are all pdf format that need to be read by adobe, and I can't access shit now.

Exam's on Monday.

Laptop getting fixed on monday and I've got fucking econs and chemistry that day. So I guess those two paper is death? =(

I also have to scout around for a harddisk because I am a technological idiot who never backs up her files. FUCK. So now, if the laptop gets reformatted, I lose everything. -_____-"...

Great beginning to my exams. Welcome to my life.

EXAMS EXAMS!

2010-06-03T14:07:00.000+08:00

People always say that you need to have a degree to get a job nowadays, but then, if everyone thinks like that, wouldn't there be wayyy too many degree holders and not enough jobs?

If I actually graduate, will I be able to get a job? (for what I studied lah) -_-

I am quite scared that I will regret what I studied and totally waste my degree. Like, I might decide to come back and do business? I don't know man.

Sooooo much uncertainties for the future. AHHHH.

Exams on monday. Economics and Chemistry. I wonder which geniuses in UK decide to put all chemistry and economics modules together?

Apparently it is very unlikely that those two are taken together, but LOOK AT ME. I am one of the super unlucky ones. -_-

Sigh.

One more month of exams.. then it will be two and a half month of doing nothing all day long. Bliss.