Letter to my 16 year old self

I want to do a "to my 16 year old self" post too! Even though I am technically only 19....

So.. here goes!

To my 16 year old self. You are now at a turning point of your life, having just finished high school, with pretty good results. The choice to make now is whether to study IB, or A'levels. You foolishly picked A'levels, not because of the merits of that path, but because you shallowly thought that the school was nicer and prettier, and because the uniform was cute.

Who would had known that it was such a cliche school so not worth the price? How would you know that you would pick up so many bad habits during that period of time? Don't worry too much about what university course to take, and what subjects you took in A'levels, because it wouldn't matter, as you will soon see. Studying the science stream does not tie you down into doing science courses, and you will find yourself studying an art course, and I will leave you to find out what that is in the future.

My sixteen year old self, you had just got out of a possessive relationship, and is ready to move on after a few months. So you did. When you are seventeen, you  will meet a guy, and fall in love quickly with his smart wits and sweet words. How would you have known that he was a cheat and going to break your heart soon after? You were young, and in love, and had no regards to your education at all.

How would you have known that what you chose at that point of time will result in you not being able to do the best you can, and getting less than satisfactory results at the end of that long A'level course? You would learn to know that people are not to be trusted so easily, and this lesson will take you a long time to learn, due to the lack of closure, it will take approximately a year, and even then, memories will remain painful.

If I could go back in time to tell my 16 year old self something, it would be to just move on, and learn what are the priorities in life - education. It's so not worth it to suffer for someone like that. In 2 years' time, you will find yourself in a completely new place - Manchester.

The start of university, in a completely different country far away from the comfort zone you grew up in, where lectures aren't compulsory. Two terms later, you will find myself in my position right now, cramming for examinations and paying for the lost hours of lecture due to pure laziness.

If you had picked up better study habits then, maybe I wouldn't be in this difficult position right now, but how were you supposed to know that what you do then will affect so drastically how I am now? You are only 16, and had your heart broken, but I also wished that you had learn to love yourself more then. Take better care of yourself, and I want you to know that whatever you do to hide the hurt from the broken relationship, you are not at fault.

You will soon grow up to realize that, there are much more important things in life - such as your parents who nurtured you and loved you since young, no matter what mistakes you make. The siblings that are your blood no matter how much you fight with them and argue with them. You will soon realize how much you miss their company. You should have learnt to appreciate them more, instead of being all alone 3 years later in a foreign country missing them.

Dear 16 year old self, you were so skinny! In a few years' time, you will turn into a fat bitch, so please don't laugh at fat people and discriminate against them. You too will have the day when you start growing horizontally too.

Despite the mistakes you will make, I am also proud of you, my sixteen year old self, for learning to pick yourself up from the fall. Do you know that you will soon enjoy swimming, and complete your piano level that you thought you never will? You don't have to worry too much about it, you'll be fine, I guarantee it :)

So, 16 year old self, you have made me become who I am today, and I am happy to have you, no matter what. All I want you to do now is to learn to love more, judge less and smile more :)